Peru Writeup - You know you want it!
Before I start up my writeup of the Peru Adventure, I'm going to give a little reminder about who I am and why the idea of going to Peru for a hike of the Inca Trail is absolutely ridiculous. For those of you who know me well, you'll understand why the idea of my sleeping in tents and not bathing for 5 days is absolutely ridiculous.
I may be a lot of things. I could be described as adventurous, self reliant, or even impulsive (on occasion). However, I don't think ANYONE would ever describe me as "rugged". In fact, here is basically how I would imagine my friends (and enemies) would describe me:
Top 5 Way I think Other People Would Describe me:
5. Loud
4. Obsessed with food and drink
3. "potty mouth"
2. High Maintenance
1. Fiercely Independent (think hermit)
OK, lets take a closer look at these items. 5 and 4 are self explanatory. 3 is something I have developed over time. A case in point: my favorite word in the whole world starts with C and ends with UNT. I love using it, but usually have to do so only outside the US. I end up using my second favorite word a whole lot more. Hint: it starts with F and ends with UCK.
More importantly, #2 is "High Maintenance". What does this mean? No, it doesn't mean I need people to call me every night and tell me how great I am. Sadly what it means is that I end up being the dude that my other dude friends (including the gay ones) go to for advice on their skincare regimen. I can be painfully urbane, and yes at one point I had my own "point person" in the men's skincare counter at Saks who would hook me up with deals and discounts on "my favorite products". True I survived the dubious bathroom situations I faced in a year of travel through rural China and Bali etc., but I always had RUNNING WATER. Camping is completely out of the question.
Why did I decide on the Peru Trip? OK, Machu Pichu is definitely one of the "Yuppy Destinations" that all the backpacker/yuppy traveler-types need to hit while they are still in the throws of singledom. For those of you expats/yuppies out there, you know exactly what I'm talking out.
Top 5 "Crunchy Yuppy" Hotspots (in no particular order)
Machu Pichu
Ankor Wat
Mount Kilamanjaro
Full Moon Party at Koh Samui
Great Barrier Reef
But I digress...the point is I wanted to see it, and I knew that I would never hike the Inca Trail on my own without the prodding of a group of strangers.
OK, so enough of the preamble...here is the rundown on the trip itself. I'll try to leave out all the retarded details and only give you the good stuff. So here goes:
Pre-Trip
Unlike all the other business school trips, as soon as I had paid for this one I was sent a crazy checklist of "gear" that I was required to bring with me. This included such items as a sleeping bag, "sock liners" (??), thermals, and a "gortex shell". Several hundred dollars and a hidous 3 hour busride to the burbs of Chicago later and I was good to go! The night before we left there was a little pre-trip soiree at a moderately cheesy bar in the clubby part of chicago, where I met a handful of my future tripgoers. More interestingly I met up with my friend Billy that night who was visiting for a friend's party. Also I re-met his friend Lindsay (who is a dude) and his girlfriend, who agreed to hook me up with some of their hot successul friends. His girlfriend's roomate was there, and she seemed to belong to the "pretty and successful" crowd, so hopefully she is just the tip fo the iceberg!
Trip
Day 1: So our flight was cancelled they moved us to another flight on another airline! The bad news: with only a 1 hour layover in Houston I was certain our "gear" would be lost. The good news: They showed "Mean Girls" on the flight, which made me super happy. Also my fellow travelers and I bonded over jokes about "Snakes on a Plane" (which we ended up seeing almost immediately after returning to Chicasgo). Long story short, we landed in Lima, our stuff was not lost, and I was completely tired. My trip members weren't total losers (i was probably the most loser-ish of the bunch, which is just the way I like it!)
Day 2: Early morning flight to Cusco. As we got off the plane, like literally 100 feet from the airplane ON the offramp, some old guy had collapsed, presumably from altitude sickness. NOT a good sign. My heart was beating really fast, even by my grossly unhealthy standards. We spent the day wandering the town and I had some AWESOME sweet corn tamales that I bought on the street. I LOVE STREET FOOD. Then tried alpaca chili that night, which was good despite my quasi-nausea. YUM. Didn't sleep much that night as my heartbeat never really calmed down!
Day 3 - Bus to the beginning of the trail, which was decently easy. We ended up sleeping in a peruvian blah blah blah. Takeaways: a) no booze for 3 days now b) little indian porters did all the heavy lifting for us, c) altitude sickness slowly abating
Day 4- LIterally walked uphill all day. I have never breathed so heavily, and I could LITERALLY HEAR my heart pounding. Day 4 with no booze. That night we slept on this freezing plateau where we saw wild alpacas and froze. I gave in and gave birth to a big brown baby in the plastic port-o-potty. GROSS! I felt SO MUCH better afterwards!!! Slept at around 13,000 feet.
Day 5 - 10 hours of up/down/up/down/up/down/up/down. So sore at the end, but pleased with the knowledge that the next day would be spent in a hotel! YEHAW!
Day 6 - Downhill ALL DAY! WHOOHOO!!! The views were awesome, and so was the Aji de Gallina that the chef made us for lunch. YUM! Descended into Machu Pichu after encountering a herd of grossly obese spanish women. Our group realized that our days in isolation made us into a sort of "collective hermit" that hated all outsiders. After a rousing exchange of songs (the indians sang some local song and we sang the Righteous Brothers...it was weird) we left our porters and descended into Aguas Calientes, the bizarre little tourist town. We literally took over a bar, including bartending, DJ and table dancing duties. I took a 30 minute triple-hairwas shower and an awesome power-dump in my western-style toilet!! I had never been so happy!
Day 7 - Morning in Machu Pichu, freaky train ride back to Cusco, overpriced dinner in Cusco, and an evening filled with drinking Peruvian tallboys, flirting with hookers (presumably female) and enjoing the free drinks purchased for us by our the local drug dealer.
Day 8 - Flight to Lima where we enjoyed delightful ceviche, decent helado (not Argentine quality, but who is to complain) and delightful dinner amidst ancient ruins. Overnight flight to Houstn.
Day 9 - Transfer from Houston to Chicago. Watch "Snakes on a Plane" while drinking vodka lemonades. A ridiculous end to a ridiculous trip.
Takeaways
1) True I'm high maintenance, but I can be rugged too (assuming a band of 26 porters are there to cater to my every whim)
2) I'm not the most twisted person in the my program, although apparently I swear the most
3) GSB people aren't as dorky as I had previously assumed (i was definitely the biggest dork on this trip, which made me happy)
4) My spanish really does suck
5) There is nothing as satisfying as a good boweling, except perhaps wontons filled with cheese
