Dude, Where's my Life?

Describe a personal characteristic or something in your background that will help the Admissions Committee to know you better.

I don’t talk about it much, but one personal characteristic has driven me time and again to most major life decisions. It has shaped my values, guided my leadership style and interpersonal interactions, and has often been my greatest downfall. Of course that characteristic would have to be my all-consuming LUST FOR POWER.

Upon first meeting me, it is hard to believe that I’m consumed by lust, especially LUST FOR POWER. I am neither dominating not controlling. The power I crave isn’t the power to command or control others, but power to control my own destiny, the power to influence personal outcomes, and the power to create.

Power means self-determination. My most important decisions in life have been made to preserve or exercise this power: leaving my family to go to school, leaving my friends in NYC to live abroad, and leaving my career at Citigroup to start a new life. Even choosing to work in investment banking was a demonstration of my desire to live unfettered from debt. Power means being able to try new things without apologies. It means freedom and self-reliance.

Influencing outcomes and affecting change are exercises in power. There is no better means to do so than through the spread of one’s ideas. I have found that communication is the best way for me to influence both people and outcomes, whether through tutoring, training, being a mentor in the office, recruiting, creative writing, or even the performing arts. Similarly, I prefer to lead through education, as a teacher and mediator, rather than a field captain telling people what to do. Real power is about changing people’s minds, not commanding their actions.

For me, the greatest exercise in power is the act of creating something new, something that is unique to me. The creations themselves could vary widely. A great onstage performance, telling a good story, building a useful and robust financial model, or even forging a bond of friendship are all acts of creation that bring me a tremendous sense of accomplishment, often the most satisfying validation of one’s power. In order to achieve this I strive to accumulate knowledge about the world around me, including politics, history, commerce and economics, culture and language. I will forever pursue a breadth of knowledge about the world and its people as the fuel for creative power.

Lust for power has driven many of my decisions, but has also been a great vice. Almost 30, I am still nowhere near marriage or starting a family, both goals that I, and society, value highly but that have been superceded by my overwhelming needs for self determination and greater knowledge about the world. The type of power that I pursue comes at a price. It’s a characteristic, personal and precious to me and often resulting in positive outcomes, but I never said it was a true virtue.